Just to set the record straight, some porn is plain ugly...

We simply have to ask the question because we don't get it. Review the images on the right. Do they have any appeal for you whatsoever? No? We didn't think so. Unfortunately, these pictures tend to define the state of free porn on the Internet—crack whores and lunatics vying for an audience. We say, yuck. And these photos have been edited!

By edited we mean we elected to omit brightly-lit photos of anuses and vaginas. Unless you're in the medical profession, we doubt you've ever wished to risk seeing fecal matter or large matted pubic hairs under 2000 watts of illumination. We may be wrong, but Lord, explain yourselves if we are.

Speaking personally, I know I've never turned the lights on and asked my girl to bend over so I could investigate her plumbing. The fact that we have assholes is proof of there being no God. Instead we feel our creator was quite humorless.

Now, we're fairly sure you've never asked your wife to lick her breasts. We admit it's an interesting concept, but in reality, we go limp. Kept your breasts out of your mouths, please, that's our job.

If you really want to turn us on, do the opposite of whatever the blonde-babe does on the right as her daily beauty regimen. What I'd like to know is, where does she get off? Does she honestly think any sane man living in a comfortable four bedroom home in the suburbs would stick his thing anywhere near her rear porthole? What is she thinking? Why didn't she pay attention in school?

There are enough beautiful women in the world to fill all of the Internet several times over (what trouble one can get into in Milan, for instance, home of the most beautiful women in the world). Why do adult sites continually feature the dregs of feminine humanity?

We haven't a clue. We avoid anuses at all costs. The labia will only exhibit itself in one of our photos (except for this page) if under dim lighting and if tenderly, versus raggedly, aroused. Our point is this: We will never again waste your time with images of this kind (we let others do that). Sorry if you're offended, either way.

editor

Want simple nudes without the porn? Try "Casual Nudity"

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